Barracuda Bites Man on Fishing Boat
TYBEE ISLAND, Ga. (AP) - A 65-year-old man on a
fishing trip along the Georgia coast was injured Wednesday when a
30-pound barracuda jumped into his boat. [7/22/04 22:27 The
Click here to read the entire story
"To Show your girlfriend/wife..."
Boudreaux was walking down the street when he was
accosted by particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who
asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. Boudreaux took out
his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If I gave you dis
money, will you buy some beer wit it instead?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the
homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to gamble 'stead of buyin' food?"
Boudreaux continued to ask.
"No, I don't gamble" the homeless man said. "I
need everything I can get just to stay alive."
"Will you spend dis money on fish bait 'stead of
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I
haven't fished in 20 years!"
"Well," said a smiling Boudreaux, "I'm not going
to give you the two dollars. Instead, I'm going to take you home
fuh a terrific dinner cooked by ma' wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife
be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I
probably smell pretty bad."
Boudreaux replied, "Hey, man, dat's okay! I juss
want her to see what a man looks like who's given up beer, gamblin',
"Texas angler gets record case of the blues"
World Record Blue Catfish
8-ounce blue catfish from the chilly waters of Lake Texoma (the
89,000-acre reservoir that straddles the Oklahoma-Texas border)
Texas angler Cody Mullennix accomplished that feat
Friday, Jan. 16 (2004), when the 27-year old catfisherman beached
a 60-inch blue catfish (Ictalurus furcatus) while he fished from
the bank on the Texas side of the reservoir, located about an
hour's drive north of Dallas.
Click here to read full story
Here's a picture you don't see every day...
Blondes and Ice Fishing
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing, so after getting all of the
right tools, she headed toward the nearest frozen lake. After
getting comfy on her stool she started to cut a circular hole in
the ice. Then from the heavens a voice boomed,
''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.''
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice,
poured a thermos of hot chocolate and started to cut yet another
hole in the ice. The voice boomed,
''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.''
This time quite scared, the blonde moved to the
far end of the ice. Then she started another hole and once again
the voice said,
''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.''
The very scared blonde raised her head and said,
''Is that you, Lord?'' The voice answered, ''NO. IT IS THE MANAGER
OF THE ICE RINK.
Like shooting fish in a barrel***
Well, the ice fishing season is getting underway here in Downeast
Maine but what is really generating some excitement is the salmon
fishing. Salmon fishing? Yeah, salmon fishing.
If you come too late in the summer all of the
stocked salmon will be gone and typically in the winter the wild
salmon are way out in the North Atlantic. That only leaves the
penned in kind.
You see coastal Maine has been developing quite a
salmon farming industry in the past decade or so. Atlantic salmon
are raised in 70-foot circular pens off shore. Well recently one
fish farm company was stuck with a pen full of oversized salmon
that they could sell as food. They had two options - one grind
them up for fertilizer or two auction them off on Ebay of all
Believe it or not, they went with the Ebay option
and six fishermen bid over $500 a piece to spend a day casting
into the salmon pen. Seems kind silly doesn't it? Well not to the
winning bidders. By all accounts they had a great time pulling in
rod breaking, gear destroying giant salmon weighing an average of
20 pounds with the largest tipping the scale at 37 pounds.
One guy managed to pull in 28 fish in three hours
while the total haul was over 2,000 pounds of salmon (a lot of it
went to charity)! Who knows, this might start a new tourist
attraction for the area.
***This article compliments of the fishboy email
newsletter on Jan.10, 2003.
A. Ray Cockrell is probably the only fisherman who not only ate
his world-record catch but also gave away two other record-size
fish and threw back three potential record holders. Cockrell
was surf fishing in Destin, Florida, on June 3, 1988, when one
gigantic bluefish after another struck his bait. Cockrell
laid the huge blues on the beach, where they soon attracted a
crowd. Cockrell threw three fish back, gave two away, and
kept the largest. It weighed in at a whopping 42 pounds --
more than 10 pounds over the world record-class fish.
Unfortunately, no one told him it was a record-class fish.
So Cockrell took his fish home and ate it.
A representative of the International Game Fish
Association visited Cockrell later to tell him what the world
record was. Cockrell would have made the record books in two
categories for his fish, had he ignored a grand total of six
potential world-record fish.
A lot of people don't like to eat bluefish because
its a darker, oily fish but I understand Cockrell's hunger
especially if he did it up with Cajun spices on the grill.
Bluefish is great on the grill because the oils keep it from
drying out like a lot of the white fish.
(click here to see a great recipe to for
The following ad in "The Atlanta Journal" is reported to
have gotten numerous calls.....
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE... Seeks male companionship, ethnicity
unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I
love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck,
hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by
the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your
hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the
front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature
gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call xxx-xxxx and ask for
Over 150 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society
about an eight-week-old black LABRADOR Retriever..
A young guy from Texas moves to California and
goes to a big department store looking for a job.
The manager says, "Do you have any sales
The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back
home in Texas."
Well, the boss liked the kid, so he gave him the
job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and
see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough but he got
through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down.
"How many sales did you make today?" The
kid says, "One."
The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people
average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"
Kid says, "$101,237.64." Boss says,
"$101,237.64? What did you sell him?"
Kid says, "First I sold him a small fish
hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger
fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him
where he was going fishing, and he said down at the coast, so I
told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat
department, and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he
said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him
down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a
fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?"
Kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a box
of tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Well, since your weekend's
shot, you might as well go fishing.'"
man tells his wife that he's going out to buy cigarettes. When he
gets to the store he finds out however , that it's closed. So the
guy ends up going down to the local bar to use the vending
machine. While there he had a few beers and began talking to this
beautiful girl. He had a few more beers and the next thing he knew
he was in this girl's apartment and having quite a pleasurable
time. The next thing he knew it was 3:00 AM. "Oh my, god , my
wife is going to kill me!" he exclaimed. "Quick grab
that Smelly Jelly from my coat pocket!" She got it for him
and he rubbed it all over his hands. When he got home his wife was
up waiting for him and she was furious. "Where the hell have
you been!" He said, "Well to tell you the truth, I went
into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blonde and I
slept with her." "Let me smell your hands!" she
demanded. He showed his wife his smelly hands. "Damn liar,
You were out fishin again!"
|Ten Clues That You've Chosen The Wrong Fishing
1. He's got the open engine manual sitting on the console next to
2. He screams "Yeehaa," as he turns the boat away from
the dock and pushes the throttle forward.
3. He thinks it's an asset that he can drive so fast that he gets
the boat completely out of the water.
4. It takes him two hours and twenty-five minutes to reach your
fishing destination on a five hour charter.
5. He can't stop laughing when he realizes that his brother the
Sheriff gave you a speeding ticket on your way to his boat, and
says nothing about getting the ticket cancelled.
6. He casually tells you that on days he can't get a charter he's
a delivery driver for Pizza Hut.
7. He goes on for hours about how boats are safer than cars, but
only because there are less vehicles directly next to one to hit.
He runs aground three times during this oration.
8. He goes on for hours about his alien abduction experiences,
with much detail given to the tests they supposedly performed on
9. The other fishing guides hold up protective religious icons as
he passes by.
10. At the end of the day's catchless fishing, he begs you to
allow him to use your name as a reference, because none of his
other 110 charters would.
|Two fishermen are fishing in a local river when a
funeral procession passes over the nearby bridge. One of the
fisherman takes off his hat and holds it close to his chest until
the procession passes by then replaces it on his head. The other
fisherman is impressed by this and remarks that he is touched by
the others respect for the funeral, to which the fisherman replies
"It's the least I could do, we would have been married 35
years next week."
Here's one that'll make you chuckle: http://www.pcpages.com/santeeslayer/Fun/TaleOfTwoFishermen.html
Redneck Fisherman's Love Poem
Collards is green,
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.
You have some'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.
Yo're as cute as a junebug
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.
When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.
Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger.
"That's impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth.
But for this man, honey,
these won't do.
Cause yor'e too special,
you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds......
IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!
A Bluefish Recipe
(Thanks to fishboy.com
Sweet-Crusted Grilled Bluefish with Avocado-Corn Vinaigrette
Adapted from "License to Grill"
by Chris Schlesinger and John Willoughby
Yield: 4 servings
Four 8-ounce bluefish fillets, 1 1/2 to 2 inches thick
1 ear corn, husked, desilked, blanched in boiling salted water
drained, and kernels cut off the cob
1 large avocado, peeled and pitted
4 cloves garlic, peeled
1 Tablespoon fresh chile pepper of your choice,
minced (or more depending on your heat tolerance)
3/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup fresh lime juice (about 2 limes)
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
1/4 cup fresh cilantro (or parsley), roughly chopped
Salt and freshly cracked black pepper
1/4 cup cumin seeds, toasted, or 2 Tablespoons ground cumin
1/4 cup coriander seeds, toasted, or 2 Tablespoons ground
1/4 cup paprika
1/4 cup packed brown sugar
Salt and freshly cracked black pepper to taste
To make the vinaigrette, place the corn, avocado, garlic and chile
pepper in a food processor and purée until smooth. Slowly drizzle
oil. Add the remaining vinaigrette ingredients and pulse to mix.
and chill in refrigerator until ready to serve. (You may also mash
corn, avocado and garlic together with a large wooden spoon, as if
were creaming butter and sugar, and stir in the remaining
To prepare the rub, in a small bowl, combine all of the
Rub the bluefish fillets well with the spice rub and place on
skin side up, over medium-low fire. Cook for 5 minutes. Flip and
for an additional 5 to 8 minutes. To check for doneness, cut into
the fillets to be sure it is opaque through the center.
Serve hot off the grill, drizzled with the chilled vinaigrette.
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