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Barracuda Bites Man on Fishing Boat

TYBEE ISLAND, Ga. (AP) - A 65-year-old man on a fishing trip along the Georgia coast was injured Wednesday when a 30-pound barracuda jumped into his boat. [7/22/04 22:27 The Associated Press]

Click here to read the entire story

"To Show your girlfriend/wife..."

Boudreaux was walking down the street when he was accosted by particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. Boudreaux took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If I gave you dis money, will you buy some beer wit it instead?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to gamble 'stead of buyin' food?" Boudreaux continued to ask.

"No, I don't gamble" the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get just to stay alive."

"Will you spend dis money on fish bait 'stead of food?"

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't fished in 20 years!"

"Well," said a smiling Boudreaux, "I'm not going to give you the two dollars. Instead, I'm going to take you home fuh a terrific dinner cooked by ma' wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."

Boudreaux replied, "Hey, man, dat's okay! I juss want her to see what a man looks like who's given up beer, gamblin', and fishin'."

"Texas angler gets record case of the blues"
World Record Blue Catfish

A 121-pound, 8-ounce blue catfish from the chilly waters of Lake Texoma (the 89,000-acre reservoir that straddles the Oklahoma-Texas border)

Texas angler Cody Mullennix accomplished that feat Friday, Jan. 16 (2004), when the 27-year old catfisherman beached a 60-inch blue catfish (Ictalurus furcatus) while he fished from the bank on the Texas side of the reservoir, located about an hour's drive north of Dallas.

Click here to read full story

Here's a picture you don't see every day...

Blondes and Ice Fishing
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing, so after getting all of the right tools, she headed toward the nearest frozen lake. After getting comfy on her stool she started to cut a circular hole in the ice. Then from the heavens a voice boomed,


Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of hot chocolate and started to cut yet another hole in the ice. The voice boomed, 


This time quite scared, the blonde moved to the far end of the ice. Then she started another hole and once again the voice said, 


The very scared blonde raised her head and said, ''Is that you, Lord?'' The voice answered, ''NO. IT IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK.

Like shooting fish in a barrel***
Well, the ice fishing season is getting underway here in Downeast Maine but what is really generating some excitement is the salmon fishing. Salmon fishing? Yeah, salmon fishing.

If you come too late in the summer all of the stocked salmon will be gone and typically in the winter the wild salmon are way out in the North Atlantic. That only leaves the penned in kind.

You see coastal Maine has been developing quite a salmon farming industry in the past decade or so. Atlantic salmon are raised in 70-foot circular pens off shore. Well recently one fish farm company was stuck with a pen full of oversized salmon that they could sell as food. They had two options - one grind them up for fertilizer or two auction them off on Ebay of all places.

Believe it or not, they went with the Ebay option and six fishermen bid over $500 a piece to spend a day casting into the salmon pen. Seems kind silly doesn't it? Well not to the winning bidders. By all accounts they had a great time pulling in rod breaking, gear destroying giant salmon weighing an average of 20 pounds with the largest tipping the scale at 37 pounds.

One guy managed to pull in 28 fish in three hours while the total haul was over 2,000 pounds of salmon (a lot of it went to charity)! Who knows, this might start a new tourist attraction for the area.

***This article compliments of the fishboy email newsletter on Jan.10, 2003.

Record Fish
A. Ray Cockrell is probably the only fisherman who not only ate his world-record catch but also gave away two other record-size fish and threw back three potential record holders.  Cockrell was surf fishing in Destin, Florida, on June 3, 1988, when one gigantic bluefish after another struck his bait.  Cockrell laid the huge blues on the beach, where they soon attracted a crowd.  Cockrell threw three fish back, gave two away, and kept the largest.  It weighed in at a whopping 42 pounds -- more than 10 pounds over the world record-class fish.  Unfortunately, no one told him it was a record-class fish.  So Cockrell took his fish home and ate it.  

A representative of the International Game Fish Association visited Cockrell later to tell him what the world record was.  Cockrell would have made the record books in two categories for his fish, had he ignored a grand total of six potential world-record fish.

A lot of people don't like to eat bluefish because its a darker, oily fish but I understand Cockrell's hunger especially if he did it up with Cajun spices on the grill.  Bluefish is great on the grill because the oils keep it from drying out like a lot of the white fish.
(click here to see a great recipe to for bluefish)

News AD
The following ad in "The Atlanta Journal" is reported to have gotten numerous calls..... 
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE... Seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy." 
Over 150 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an eight-week-old black LABRADOR Retriever..

A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job.

The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas."

Well, the boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down.

"How many sales did you make today?" The kid says, "One."

The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"

Kid says, "$101,237.64." Boss says, "$101,237.64? What did you sell him?"

Kid says, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer."

The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?"

Kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Well, since your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.'"

Fishing Again?!?!

A man tells his wife that he's going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out however , that it's closed. So the guy ends up going down to the local bar to use the vending machine. While there he had a few beers and began talking to this beautiful girl. He had a few more beers and the next thing he knew he was in this girl's apartment and having quite a pleasurable time. The next thing he knew it was 3:00 AM. "Oh my, god , my wife is going to kill me!" he exclaimed. "Quick grab that Smelly Jelly from my coat pocket!" She got it for him and he rubbed it all over his hands. When he got home his wife was up waiting for him and she was furious. "Where the hell have you been!" He said, "Well to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blonde and I slept with her." "Let me smell your hands!" she demanded. He showed his wife his smelly hands. "Damn liar, You were out fishin again!"

Ten Clues That You've Chosen The Wrong Fishing Guide:
1. He's got the open engine manual sitting on the console next to the controls.
2. He screams "Yeehaa," as he turns the boat away from the dock and pushes the throttle forward.
3. He thinks it's an asset that he can drive so fast that he gets the boat completely out of the water.
4. It takes him two hours and twenty-five minutes to reach your fishing destination on a five hour charter.
5. He can't stop laughing when he realizes that his brother the Sheriff gave you a speeding ticket on your way to his boat, and says nothing about getting the ticket cancelled.
6. He casually tells you that on days he can't get a charter he's a delivery driver for Pizza Hut.
7. He goes on for hours about how boats are safer than cars, but only because there are less vehicles directly next to one to hit. He runs aground three times during this oration.
8. He goes on for hours about his alien abduction experiences, with much detail given to the tests they supposedly performed on him.
9. The other fishing guides hold up protective religious icons as he passes by.
10. At the end of the day's catchless fishing, he begs you to allow him to use your name as a reference, because none of his other 110 charters would.

Two fishermen are fishing in a local river when a funeral procession passes over the nearby bridge. One of the fisherman takes off his hat and holds it close to his chest until the procession passes by then replaces it on his head. The other fisherman is impressed by this and remarks that he is touched by the others respect for the funeral, to which the fisherman replies "It's the least I could do, we would have been married 35 years next week."

Here's one that'll make you chuckle:

Redneck Fisherman's Love Poem
Collards is green,
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger.
"That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey,
these won't do.
Cause yor'e too special,
you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds......

A Bluefish Recipe
(Thanks to newsletter)

Sweet-Crusted Grilled Bluefish with Avocado-Corn Vinaigrette
Adapted from "License to Grill"
by Chris Schlesinger and John Willoughby

Yield: 4 servings

Four 8-ounce bluefish fillets, 1 1/2 to 2 inches thick
Avocado-Corn Vinaigrette

1 ear corn, husked, desilked, blanched in boiling salted water for 2
drained, and kernels cut off the cob
1 large avocado, peeled and pitted
4 cloves garlic, peeled
1 Tablespoon fresh chile pepper of your choice,
minced (or more depending on your heat tolerance)
3/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup fresh lime juice (about 2 limes)
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
1/4 cup fresh cilantro (or parsley), roughly chopped
Salt and freshly cracked black pepper

1/4 cup cumin seeds, toasted, or 2 Tablespoons ground cumin
1/4 cup coriander seeds, toasted, or 2 Tablespoons ground coriander
1/4 cup paprika
1/4 cup packed brown sugar
Salt and freshly cracked black pepper to taste
To make the vinaigrette, place the corn, avocado, garlic and chile
pepper in a food processor and purée until smooth. Slowly drizzle in the
oil. Add the remaining vinaigrette ingredients and pulse to mix. Cover
and chill in refrigerator until ready to serve. (You may also mash the
corn, avocado and garlic together with a large wooden spoon, as if you
were creaming butter and sugar, and stir in the remaining ingredients.)

To prepare the rub, in a small bowl, combine all of the ingredients and
mix well.

Rub the bluefish fillets well with the spice rub and place on the grill,
skin side up, over medium-low fire. Cook for 5 minutes. Flip and cook
for an additional 5 to 8 minutes. To check for doneness, cut into one of
the fillets to be sure it is opaque through the center.

Serve hot off the grill, drizzled with the chilled vinaigrette.


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