Celebrating Women!!!
cartoons | links | great women | quotes | stories | jokes

~Beauty of a Woman~
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman Is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman
With passing years -- only grows.

"Well behaved Women rarely make History." - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

GO HERE FOR SOME GREAT MAGNETS FOR YOUR REFRIGERATOR!

Great cartoons that women can appreciate

Maxine's views on:

For those needing a little happiness, here is my blessing to you:
Blessing from the fairy of Joy

Play the "GO TO BED" Game!

Links for Women:

http://www.bust.com - A great magazine and website for women - interesting stuff too!!

With age comes wisdom... - a great page for quotes about women getting older...

http://loveyourbody.nowfoundation.org/ - Love your body day!!!

http://womencentral.msn.com/ - great resource for information for women

http://www.barenecessities.com/ - Buy a bra from this site and they donate money to breast cancer

http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/  - every time you click the button on the home page, they sponsor a free mammogram

Ticked at your Ex? Try these postcards: http://www.slack.net/~wag/liberty/cmp/postcards.html

http://www.lifetimetv.com/reallife/bc/index.html?promo=bse - tells you how to perform a breast self exam

http://www.lifetimetv.com/lrw/index.html -a Lifetime channel devoted to honest true-to-life stories for women

Are you obsessed with Love? - take a quiz to find out if your obsession with love is unhealthy 

Inspiring picture: This isn't a link, but it's definitely something that I use to inspire me... (BIG SMILE)

Nieman Marcus Cookie - ever wonder about that recipe? It wasn't really $250, it's actually free on their site. 
For some reason, the email I received had a different recipe, and so I have included it here. It works really good too!

Great Women of OUR Time... and more:
This section will be dedicated to women that I have heard about who have done great things in OUR time. This is just basically a place where I get to give props to my girlfriends and to women who need to know that they are appreciated. I will also include various women who have given me inspiration and might inspire you as well. Read in good health!

Dedications:

July 7, 2004 - Jean Marie O'Connell Collins
For as long as I've known my sister, I knew she was tough. She was always able to hold me down and tickle me when I was little. There was never any escaping. Whenever I stole her chair, she always managed to get it back... usually by force. She was able to lift me up just as high as the guys did whenever we practiced lifts for skating. She was the one who taught me that calculus wasn't all that scary - I mean, if she could teach it to her sister who was ten years younger than her, and find a way to make sense out of it, then that was pure talent. She even went through boot camp and enlisted in the Air Force, then moved out to Colorado to be on her own hundreds of miles away from home. This doesn't even include the numerous times I've seen her put on a tool belt and work right beside the men on her own house while it was being built, and doing half of the wiring. So I've always been very proud of my sister and always thought that she was pretty intelligent, tough and strong willed.

After watching her 4 kids for her while she was in Europe with her husband (with the help of my husband and numerous other people who volunteered to help me here and there), I realize that I didn't have the slightest clue just how strong of a person my sister was. She lives the life of a full time Mom to 4 kids (which means not just making sure they are safe, but also being teacher, friend, social coach and emotional support to them), who are at different stages of age, and does it 24/7 for months at a time with very very few breaks. Not only is she a full time Mom, but she is also the wife of a 'full-time' Army-enlisted husband, who requires just as much maintenance as the 4 kids. She cooks dinners for large groups of cadets and soldiers at a minutes notice and is always the welcome hostess when people show up unexpectedly at her door. She takes care of the home and also is a great cook. After trying to live just part of her life these last 2 weeks, and after seeing my Mom attempt it and just about loose her mind (just like I nearly did), I think that I have more respect for her than I did before... and that's saying a lot! So even though very few people read this page, and even though it won't be publicized in any newspaper, I felt that I should dedicate a little web space to a woman who does extraordinary things on a daily basis without even bragging about it. I love you sis.

UPDATE: July 3, 2005 - I just want to reiterate that my sis is an amazing person. I appreciate everything that she has done to help and support me. She is a wonderful organizer, hostess, and all-around great person to lean on. I totally love her! Thanks for all your help that weekend sis...

June 8, 2004 - Audrey Hepburn voted most Natural Beauty...
From a recent "Top 10 Natural Authentic Beauties" article on MSN.com entertainment:
"As Albert Camus once said, "Beauty is unbearable, drives us to despair, offering us for a minute the glimpse of an eternity that we should like to stretch out over the whole of time." In other words, "Hot chicks totally rule." With that in mind, the good folks at Evian have taken time from their busy water-distribution duties to ask a panel of beauty "experts" to name the Top 10 most naturally beautiful woman ever, reports the BBC.

The fairest of them all? Audrey Hepburn, by a landslide.

The selections, made by beauty and fashion editors, makeup artists, photographers, and modeling execs and whittled down from a not-quite-comprehensive list of 100 names, were based on such scientific calculations as the "embodiment of natural beauty, healthy living ... beautiful on the inside and out, with great skin and a natural glow to their personality, as well as their complexion." Translation: The choices were completely arbitrary.

"Audrey Hepburn is the personification of natural beauty," says Elle beauty director Rosie Green. "She has a rare charm and inner beauty that radiates when she smiles." (If you ask us, the ladylike screen legend's unwavering support of charitable children's causes enhanced her already considerable genetic gifts.)

"Look, whenever I hear or read I'm beautiful, I simply don't understand it," Hepburn once said. "I'm certainly not beautiful in any conventional way. I didn't make my career on beauty." "

Click here to read Audrey Hepburn's "Beauty Tips"

December 31, 2003 - Shirley Sommers retires!!!
Finally! My Mom retires. It's a miracle! You know, not many people realize how difficult it is to work with family members until they actually do it. But working with my Mother has always been wonderful. I don't think there has ever been a time when we disagreed on how something should be done, or had an argument about her seniority over me. I always respected my Mother's position at Kent State and I will always respect all the hard work and sacrifices that she has made for the people in her job. She has always worked selflessly, and diligently, and I have only heard good things from those who she has helped over the years (which is a lot!). It wasn't until I started trying to create a scrapbook for her retirement that I realized how much she meant to everyone at work. Reading some of the letters people wrote brought tears to my eyes, and hopefully hers too. I just hope she realizes that she has done some wonderful things in her life, and her impact in this world is not small. She has touched many lives.

March 18, 2003 -- Reynolds To Receive Chamber's Lifetime Achievement Award
http://www.debbiereynolds.com
Debbie Reynolds is the cute spunky girl in "Singin in the Rain", as well as the wonderful witch in "Halloween Town" (the grandmother). She is a wonderful woman, who has produced tons of films over the years and brightened numerous lives. If I can get permission I will post a picture here of her. She has, and will always have, a smile that brightens the room. I would highly recommend to anyone who needs a good cheering up, or just wants to watch a very entertaining movie, that they rent 'Singin in the Rain', as it shows her in one of her best roles (in MY opinion). I plan to rent more of her movies so that I can fully grasp the extent of her acting career. If you get a chance, check out her official website (above) and learn more about her. She has also started a 'Hollywood Motion Picture Museum' and is very interested in Hollywood memorabilia. Here is a link to that museum's website: http://www.hmpc.tv/home.html
P.S. Carrie Fisher is her daughter...If you are unlucky enough to know who Carrie Fisher is, then I'm sure you know who Princess Leia is...

October 15, 2002 - Brittany Wyatt
I am making a dedication to Brittany for her never failing willingness to help me out in a jam. She has put in numerous hours before, and is again this year, to help me out in the cold to do the tedious task of putting up our Haunted Tent. This is a time staking, rather boring chore in the beginning, and yet she is the ONE AND ONLY person who has actually put in her time rather selflessly. I am very proud to have her as a neighbor and hope that others take notice of her giving spirit. Not to mention, her wonderful caring attitude when it comes to her little brothers. At which time I choose to mention that not only does she stick up for her brothers when they are getting picked on, even when they whine a lot, but she also is constantly watching over them and helping them grow up. An example: her "eloquent" use of tooth removal talents on her brother Rodney, who didn't even realize his tooth was gone until he awoke from his sleep. :)

Music Video Codes By VideoCodeZone

Quotes, by women... or for women

http://wisdom_quotes.tripod.com/blqulist.htm - great place for a list of quotes by women

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies.

Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened. -Cora Harvey Armstrong

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.... -Helen Hayes (at 73)

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. -Janette Barber

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. -Lily Tomlin

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. -Carrie Snow

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. -Laurie Kuslansky

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. -Erma Bombeck

Old age ain't no place for sissies. -Bette Davis

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. -Rhonda Hansome

The phrase "working mother" is redundant. -Jane Sellman

Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows. -Jennifer Unlimited

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. -Charlotte Whitton

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. -Caryn Leschen

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. -Jennifer Unlimited

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. -Catherine

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb ... and I'm also not blonde. -Dolly Parton

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. -Sue Grafton

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -Roseanne Barr

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. -Elayne Boosler

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. -Maryon Pearson

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man- if you want anything done, ask a woman. -Margaret Thatcher- (just in politics?)

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. -Gloria Steinem

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. -Zsa Zsa Gabor

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. -Eleanor Roosevelt

If you want a thing well done, get a couple of old broads to do it. - Bette Davis

In a letter she gave to her future husband, George Palmer Putnam, just before their wedding in 1931, Earhart wrote: You must know again my reluctancy to marry, my feeling that I shatter thereby chances in work which means so much to me. In our life together I shall not hold you to any medieval code of faithfulness to me, nor shall I consider myself bound to you similarly. I may have to keep some place where I can go to be myself now and then, for I cannot guarantee to endure at all times the confinements of even an attractive cage. I must extract a cruel promise, and that is you will let me go in a year if we find no happiness together. - Amelia Earhart

No, I don't understand my husband's theory of relativity, but I know my husband and I know he can be trusted. - Elsa Einstein

Creative minds have always been known to survive any kind of bad training. - Anna Freud

Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul. - Marilyn Monroe

If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much. - Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

I always said I wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific. - Lily Tomlin

A mother who is really a mother is never free. - Honore De Balzac

Nobody can misunderstand a boy like his own mother. Mothers at present can bring children into the world, but this performance is apt to mark the end of their capacities. They can't even attend to the elementary animal requirements of their offspring. It is quite surprising how many children survive in spite of their mothers. - Norman Douglas 

Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother's love is not. - James Joyce 

Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother. - Lin Yü-tang 

Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequences than to have a really affectionate mother. - W. Somerset Maugham ~

A mother understands what a child does not say. - Jewish Proverb 

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. - Spanish Proverb 

Maternity is on the face of it an unsociable experience. The selfishness that a woman has learned to stifle or to dissemble where she alone is concerned, blooms freely and unashamed on behalf of her offspring. - Emily James Putnam 

The worker can unionize, go out on strike; mothers are divided from each other in homes, tied to their children by compassionate bonds; our wildcat strikes have most often taken the form of physical or mental breakdown. - Adrienne Rich 

There was never a great man who had not a great mother. - Olive Schreiner 

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. - Mark Twain 

How simple a thing it seems to me that to know ourselves as we are, we must know our mothers names. - Alice Walker 

Lord Illingworth: All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. Mrs. Allonby: No man does. That is his. - Oscar Wilde 

These are just fun - don't know where they came from...
BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL WOMAN IS HERSELF

GINGER ROGERS DID EVERYTHING FRED ASTAIRE DID, BUT SHE DID IT BACKWARDS AND IN HIGH HEELS

A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG... YOU DON'T KNOW HOW STRONG SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT HER IN HOT WATER

I HAVE YET TO HEAR A MAN ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO COMBINE MARRIAGE AND A CAREER

SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME

COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN. SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH

DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN

I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN And I HAVE A GUN

WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT

OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY... I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME

DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN

ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE

I CAN BE ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPENS TO BAD PEOPLE

HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?

DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES

IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN

Stories, Poems, and "Stuff"

Jokes

______________________

FRIENDSHIP PRAYER:
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the
crotch of the person who screws up your day
and may their arms be too short to scratch...
AMEN
______________________

A WOMAN'S PRAYER:
Dear Lord, I pray for:
Wisdom, To understand a man
Love, To forgive him and
Patience, For his moods
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death
AMEN
______________________

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world"
The woman says, "I'll miss you..."

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
She replied, "Probably that I married you for your money."

He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to you really badly.
She said - Well, you succeeded.

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!

A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST:
* She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton

Sometimes I miss my husband... But my aim is getting better.

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A. Shoot him again.

Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Q. Why do little boys whine?
A. Because they're practicing to be men.

Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One. He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. 
OR Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trustworthy.

Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A. Because not one will stop and ask directions.

Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women.
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

Me And You Are Friends ... 
You Fight, I Fight ..... 
You Hurt, I Hurt .... 
You Cry, I Cry ... 
You Jump Off A Bridge ... 
I'm Gonna Miss Your Dumb Ass

Just some funnies!!!

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butts and they vapor lock)

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)